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If Drinks Could Talk

Have you ever noticed that the words “100% Natural” and “Made with REAL Fruit Juice” are used to describe just about every fruity drink?  Personally, I’m starting to get a bit confused about what these words mean in terms of what I’m really drinking.

Commercials make it seem like we should each be drinking a gallon of juice a day and I know that’s definitely not true. But every once in a while I like to have a glass of 100% juice and I’d rather drink actual juice than juice-colored syrup. Sometimes when I’m staring at drink labels trying to figure out what they are, I just wish I could ask the drink directly what it is. Okay, I know that’s crazy. You can’t talk to a bottled drink. I get that.  But just for a minute can you imagine how the conversation might go?

ME (Talking to an unidentified bottle of “juice” in the store):

“Hi. You look like a delicious fruity drink. I’d like to purchase you but I’m not quite sure what you are. Are you really juice?”

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “Well I’m 100% Natural!!”

ME: “Yes, but 100% Natural what?”

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “I have all Natural Flavors!!”

ME: “Yeah, I see that but you also have some ingredients that I can’t pronounce. Are those Natural?”

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “Do you see the colorful fruit on my package? Yum!”

ME: “Yes I see that. But that has nothing to do with your ingredients. Please just answer this simple – “

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “Have you seen my commercials? Athletes and celebrities are in them!!”

ME: Trust me I’ve seen them. Too many of them seem directed towards teens like me. They distract us from the truth of how much sugar is in these drinks. Even actual juices have too much sugar to drink excessively. So again, I’m asking you one question- three simple words: Are – You – Juice?!”

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “I’m a 100% juice blended beverage!!!”

ME: “Uh…What is that?”

Unidentified BEVERAGE: “I have more fruit extract than a fruit flavored drink product!!”

ME: “Seriously - what is a fruit flavored drink product?”

STORE OWNER: “Sir are you talking to a bottle of juice?”

ME: “Well actually I’m not sure that it’s jui-“

STORE OWNER: “Please leave and seek psychiatric help immediately.”

Anyway you get the point.

Do you see more fruit flavored drinks or 100% juice in the stores you go to? Let us know on the SHIFTDemand Facebook page!



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